detalesBlog

Many of my posts on this blog are fake. It’s usually pretty obvious which posts of mine are fake but this one is real. I am telling you this because the truth is often stranger than fiction. The story I’m about to tell happened to a very good friend of mine.

There is no longer any doubt that the world is changing. Whereas a century ago, a home address meant something solid, concrete and unchangeable - now anybody can know when somebody leaves a job, finds a new partner or transfers schools without even having to leave their homepage.

ecause of MySpace and Facebook, we know everything about anybody’s life. This largely known fact has raised little-known questions about the consequences that such open information can have on society. And on a personal level, the argument has culminated in a crisis as my very good friend Akiva Rabinowitz was contacted by his father last night after 8 years of silence - via Facebook.

When Akiva logged on last night, he noticed that there was a friend request from some unknown buddy with the same last name - Rabinowitz. The picture on their Facebook account was of a young, unrecognizable boy. Accompanying the request was a message that simply read: “is this akiva meyer, wish you well , it would be ok to talk?”

Akiva accepted the friend request, not knowing who his friend was.

After the connection was made, Akiva decided to do some investigation. And the investigation didn’t last long. It turned out that his newly added Facebook friend was his long-forgotten father - Elliot Rabinowitz - whom he had not spoken to for over 8 years. The picture in his profile was of his son.

Pictures of his father’s new family peppered his profile, featuring online albums with such titles as “SUMMER CAMP ‘06!!!!” and “WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS IT?!”.

Akiva was horrified. During the 8 years of silence, Akiva went from a prepubescent kid to an openly gay college success story. He has had a steady boyfriend for over 4 years and had forgotten his father’s first name. But through Facebook, he now remembered - his father was Elliot Rabinowitz- and Elliot had deserted him when he was just a boy.

The conversation online eventually evolved into a conversation on the phone. For the first time in years, Akiva heard his father’s voice. But it wasn’t the same. His new life had affected his personality and what was once a slow, meditated speaker was now a hyper-active “dad” who had little time for chit-chat. And with 2 new kids, a new wife and a fancy home, it didn’t surprise Akiva that his father had little time to catch up.

Akiva instead responded to Elliot’s message by simply saying: “I am very busy trying to find an apartment right now, I need to think things over a little bit. I may contact you relatively soon.”

His father replied “good shabbos have a good weekend, i’m not here for head games. i will not judge you jayson or anything else i only want to say hi to my three sons to much time has past. love dad elliott.”

But as of now, Akiva has been hard-pressed to accept his father’s apology. In the years that they have been incommunicado, his father has started a new family, new career and new life. And Akiva has done the same.

Therefore, in what could have been a shining moment of humanity through the powers of technology instead emerged a sad moment of reality through the veil of affection that the father so carefully tried to display.

So far, Akiva Rabinowitz has grown up without a father. As the years went by, memories of his dad grew thin and he adjusted to life without him. Akiva learnt to cope and had been doing well - having made the deans list at Baruch College and averaging a 3.7 GPA, he was now looking into his own apartment. But now that’s changed simply because a ghost from the past decided to find his way to the present.

Akiva had no desire to find his father. But Facebook found him anyway. And more than that, Facebook has given his father an easy and innocent way to communicate without having to see his son face-to-face and address his irreperable tears.

But even if the conversation online is digital and fake, the emotion and pain is real and tangible. Akiva has waited 8 years to hear from his father and the “magical moment” came in an uninspired online message. What has happened to the world? Why is this acceptable? And what could possibly be done to avoid it?

Nothing. Welcome to the digital age.

~Ben Goldman

http://beginnorth.com/blog/