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Little Barbara Streisand Demarco never quite understood why his name was Barbara, or the significance of having the middle name Streisand. That all changed when he escaped from his parents’ basement and entered the big wide world.

Sleeping outside behind a CVS pharmacy, he was approached by two black men.

“What the fuck?” said the first black man - a tall, gaunt man who looked as though his soul had darkened with sin and taken his skin with it.

Barbara was frightened. He had never seen another human outside of the circle of friends his parents would invite over to hear him sing, let alone a man of different color skin.

“What are you?” a frightened Barbara asked.

The other black man was fat and emitted a deep, charred laugh through his thick leathery throat. As his laugh subsided his coarse voice yelled, “This little shit acts like he ain’t never seen a nigger before!”

“Nigger?” Barbara asked.

At that the two men’s facial expression changed into something awful.

“What did you say?” the tall one asked.

Barbara was confused but repeated himself.

“I don’t know… what did I say? ‘Nigger?’”

And suddenly, before Barbara could even realize what had happened, he was lifted by the throat and throttled in the stomach. But though Barbara had been caught offguard, he had not exactly been a stranger to beatings and so the black men appeared surprise when little Barbie simply grinned and let out a chuckle.

“What you find so fuckin’ funny, you little shit?”

Barbara didn’t want to offend the men and so he bit his lip to hold back the laughter.

But the men were already mad and so the tall one produced a knife and held it to the boy’s throat.

“What you find funny, little shit?” he implored.

Barbara had also not been a stranger to knives and knew that those could mean trouble. So he cleared his throat and said nervously, “I was just thinking about how my mother hits me much harder than that.”

The fat black man’s eyes grew and deepened and filled with rage. He suddenly threw Barbara against the wooden fence and began beating him with the wild drive of a raging bull.

Little Barbara just bit his lip and tried to hide his amusement as long as possible. But finally, through blood and dark bruises, Barbara just burst into laughter. And what glorious laughter it was! It filled the morning air with such the sound of joy that it actually frightened the black men that had been playing with him and caused them to slowly back away.

Unfortunately, that is when police showed up and violently detained the two men, planting their dark faces into the slightly less dark cement beneath them. One of the employees had apparently made a phone call thinking the boy was in danger. Oh but if only they knew Barbie! He wasn’t in any danger at all!

He tried telling this to the police but they simply turned to each other and shook their heads. One of them knelt down and asked him who his mommy and daddy were. Barbara stared at the nicely dressed officers with a look of confusion and said “Why my mom and dad are God! They’re both one and the same and birthed me to judge mankind,” Barbie yelled enthusiastically at the officers. “Or so they say!”

But the men didn’t seem to understand and after a few moments asked “And what’s your name?”

That’s when the boy grinned and yelled “Why I’m Barbara Streisand!”

And that was the story of how Barbara Streisand Demarco became the most famous boy in the world! Shortly after telling the officers his story, he was brought in and evaluated. He was told that he had been kidnapped by two Satanists who raised him as Barbara Streisand because his kidnappers believed her to be the antichrist and needed a male mate to complete the apocalypse. The papers say that his real mom and dad lived only 20 miles away and had believed him to be dead. Barbara’s name was changed back to Prescott and returned to his legitimate parents.

But even in his new life, Prescott would sometimes put on a wig and his mothers make-up, hide in the bathroom and sing. And for just that moment, he would close his eyes and become - Barbara Streisand.